I’ve never understood that. I’m going to the park. I’m going to the movies. I’m going out. I’m going to Curacao. I’ve always answered that I was going by myself, but it has never felt like that. My own presence in my life has always been quite large. I have never felt by myself but rather I have almost always been with myself. I write a lot about how I constantly feel my past self haunting me, but very frequently I can sense her happiness for me; her cathartic recognition of how far I have come. I was a dream to her. Every now and then I am patted on the back by my future self, also proud of where I am. I suppose she is also angry with me at times, though I am building her to regret nothing. And then there is me now; always accompanied by the incessant babble in my brain. The ongoing battle of head and heart. My daily debates with myself. My daily screenplays of the future. I never quite feel like I am walking through life needing company. Of course, I welcome good company but rarely do I find myself requiring company to go about my day. Do not confuse me for someone who seeks out solitude constantly. Life is, other people. I have said that many times and I believe it to be true. However, I find no rest in the souls of others when mine is not yet entirely known to me. Call it narcissism as others have, but I have grown to appreciate my own company above all. I have yet to explore all the thoughts that I will have, all the knowledge I will interpret, all the memories I will store. I find seeking company to be a hindrance in finding myself. True company is happened upon. It will, as it has in the past, find me. True company will find more of me than I thought there was.